I did not fall...

One of those days when I am thinking about some good days in the past and let me share one post that I wrote for another blog sometime back...

It was just another day, or at least that's what I thought. I vaguely remember it was around 5 in the evening, I was lying on my bed for last two hours without moving even an inch. It was very unusual for a guy like me to be so still, but this was a different day, a day like no other in my whole life.

What was it? I think those eyes, no that smile, no it was the tinkle in her eyes, or may be it was her wet hair, I think it was all of this and much more. I had lunch with her today and I think I fell in ... No way can't be ... me ???

These thoughts were making me crazy but I liked it. It was different, as I had never thought about anyone for this long. I was not even sure what I was thinking but it was an amazing feeling. I think yes I did fall in ... or may be it was just because I was thinking about her so much. I never really had thought about any other girl for so long. I had missed three lectures. I finally got up; it's tough to move after lying motionless for more than three hours. One of my leg had gone numb and I limped to the window of my hostel room, which was facing the cafe and a lush green lawn in front of it. I saw her. She was sitting in the lawn and having tea, I was looking at her and then she turned towards me and a current ran through me. No not because of her but because my leg was getting the blood circulation back and anyways my room was quite far from the cafe and one could barely recognize anyone from there. So it might have been someone else and I was seeing her everywhere or at least I was supposed to according to so many movies, so many hit movies.

I came down from my room to the cafeteria, as I wanted to be around her. She was there in the lawn, I ordered a coffee and sat with her. She was sitting there with a bunch of other friends, and most of them were singles. So they were not going anywhere, if you are a couple then you go away from the group to spend sometime together. But since most of my classmates were single they used to hangout together. I liked this group till date, but today I wanted them to disappear. I wanted to be with her, wanted to talk to her, smile with her, gaze her, make her laugh and tell her how good I can be. I wanted her to fall for me. I wanted her to feel the same way about me as I was feeling about her.

We were sitting there for next one hour, I was unusually quiet today and as I was sitting just besides her I was not able to look at her directly. Later that evening we went for dinner in a restaurant near our campus. On our way we walked together for around 10 mins or so but it was the best walk I had in my whole life. She asked me about my family, friends and childhood. I also talked about a lot of general stuff. Suddenly her hand touched mine and I suddenly felt the current in my body again. Though it was just a gentle brush, but her hand was so soft. We reached the restaurants had dinner, while coming back she walked with other girls. We reached hostel, said good-bye and headed to our rooms.

I collapsed in my bed, I don't know for how long was I up that night, though my roommates were chatting constantly but I could not hear anything. I was in a totally different world. I don't know when I fell asleep or was I up all night, but when I opened my eyes it was 6 in the morning and it was a cloudy morning. I could still feel the touch of her hand, I was still seeing that smiling face in front of me, and I was still able to see the shine in her eyes. I was still wearing shoes, I never took them off I reminded myself. I headed out of my room, I don't know where I was going, I was not even sure what was going on with me, so I didn't care much. I headed out of campus and started running, I was not thinking anything, and I was just running. I must have jogged for around half an hour that morning. I didn't know whether it was love or not but one thing was clear it was surely going to change my life. People fall in love I think I jogged in love...

Tarun Chandel
Love, Life and more love...

A hand to hold ...

Walking in the wild, all alone. I started early so that I could reach to the destination on time, but still the destination is no where in sight. The sun is starting to beat harder, the temperature is rising. The trees don't have much shade to provide as there are not many leaves left. The early enthusiasm is tiring away as I am pushing myself through this arduous route. I am scared, but there is no one to ask for protection. I am tired but there is no one to help. I think I am lost but there is no one to guide. I am injured but there is no one to nurse. I am still walking as there is no one to stop. I am screaming hard but there is no one to hear. I am hungry but there is no food. I am thirsty but there is no water. I look up and sun is laughing at me and burning even brighter. I look around and the whole place is so lifeless. The burnt rocks are looking at me as if they want me give up so that I become part of this lifeless place. I need a hand that can pull me out of all this and bring me back. I need a shoulder to cry on. I want a hand to run through my hair and tell me that I will make it. I think I can hear my name being called from heavens, I can hear someone calling Tarun ... Tarun ... Tarun. There is darkness all around me, but there is calmness, a soft hand is running through my hair. It sure feels like heaven, the burning sun is gone but there is warmth of care. I again hear a heavenly voice calling Tarun... Tarun... open your eyes. I open my eyes my mom is in front of me asking me to get up, stroking my hair. The nightmare is over, life is normal, her touch can make the difficult times just wipe away.

Tarun Chandel
Life, Learning and Technology